I wanted a place where I could sit down and work out what I believe and why I believe it. I guess I was inspired, if that's the right word, by people who would no longer call themselves Christians and have stopped believing for a variety of reasons. And also, by the fact, that belief in God in the way I hold it, is something of an anomaly and peculiarity in mainstream society. Why, with science and reason and logic and Dawkins and X factor, do I still hold to this archaic belief system that centres around a 1st century Jew? And as I was thinking all this, I thought that others might also have asked this question and be interested in my attempts to answer it.
Now, as an evangelical Christian, of course I want you to read this, agree with me, and become a Christian yourself. If I believe a relationship with God is the most important and best thing in life, of course I want you to share it. I can't promise not to preach and try to convert - it's kind of in the Christian mandate. But what I do promise, is to be honest - and at times that will mean straying from the party line, and admitting the doubts and struggles I have - but a faith that doesn't have doubts and struggles is arguably no faith at all.
I'm not good about speaking about my faith, it's something I've always struggled with. Whether it's shame or fear or inadequacy - probably a mixture of both. I find it hard to explain, I don't know how to go about it without making people feel awkward or making things more complicated than they need to be - it's an area for prayer for me, and something I trust with God's help I'll get better at when I strop trusting in my own skills and trust in His instead. But I do want to share it, it's something that's very important to me and something I believe can make a big difference in people's lives - so this is my way of sharing. I've always found it easier to express my thoughts on paper, and this is 21st century paper. Plus I can do it in work when I'm pretending to be busy.
